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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22901581">Big Bad Beetle Man</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenzie_Lu6455/pseuds/Kenzie_Lu6455'>Kenzie_Lu6455</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Ball</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Character Death, Curious Cell, Dragon Ball Z - Freeform, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV, Possible smut, Post Battle of Gods, Reader and Vegeta end up having a daddy daughter relationship, Reader is a Saiyan, Romance, Saiyan but doesn’t really live like one, Slow Burn, TFS References, Vegeta is still gonna be a dink though, so is Cell but we all knew that</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:49:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,380</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22901581</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kenzie_Lu6455/pseuds/Kenzie_Lu6455</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>I did NOT sign up for this. I did not ask for this sadistic, narcissistic, prideful, arrogant, murderous, DICK of an android to live here! Not that I have a choice. You’re probably wondering who in the name of Kami would ever be insane enough to live with the infamous Cell. It starts like this...</p><p>I love Cell with a passion and frankly there needs to be more fics of our big bad beetle boi. You know, one where it isn’t a forced relationship or hasn’t been updated since the god awful year of 2016. This will mostly have humor and fluff, but do expect angst and suspense. There may or may not be smut in the future I can’t guarantee it and if I do I can’t guarantee it’ll be good. I’ll do my best on grammar and to keep it interesting but please forgive me if I make a mistake or drag on details (I tend to do that unintentionally). Enjoy!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cell (Dragon Ball)/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I did NOT sign up for this. I did not ask for this sadistic, narcissistic, prideful, arrogant, murderous, DICK of an android to live here! Not that I have a choice. You’re probably wondering who in the name of Kami would ever be insane enough to live with the infamous Cell. It starts like this...</p><p>The blaring of my alarm clock made me groan, disturbing my peaceful dreams where reality isn’t so bad. Why did I buy this damn thing again? Oh right, I have a life. Crap. With blurry eyes and foggy mind, I sat up in all my glory, smacking the electronic to shut it off. It took me a moment to weigh out whether I should really get up or not, with the cons outweighing the pros, I dragged myself out of bed.</p><p>My name is (Y/n). I’m a young human being who had just began to live on her own in the big wide world. Only this young human girl has a <i>tail<i> and lives away from people. I’ve had my tail since birth, having that society isn’t prone to accepting anything that isn’t deemed “normal”, life isn’t so simple. Friends are few, enemies are many. Well not enemies, just some assholes who want to pick on someone different from them to make them feel better about themselves and stroke their fragile egos. When it was time for me to live on my own, it made sense I live away from where I’m not wanted. I don’t mind it really, it’s probably for the best, it’s so much more peaceful, garnished with green forests and blue skies. No noisy cities and smog filling the air. The only downside of living away is not having easy access to necessaries such as food, clean water, that sort of thing. I wish it could be delivered but I’m just out of reach of their travel limits. Whatever, I need to move around anyway, or else I’ll become more of a lazy blob than I already am.</i></i></p><p>
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</p><p>Today I’m going to the city for an interview as an assistant. Not exactly my dream job to follow someone and listen to their every order like some dog, but hey, sacrifices must be made to get the bills paid. Least for now. I had some time before the actual interview, I just need it to get ready, collect myself, and waste what’s left with the time to get there. It took me about 15 minutes to get ready, I don’t like spending much time getting ready so I had set out my outfit the night before so I can shower and slip it on rather than search and waste time. I wore a professional outfit made up of a dress shirt covered by and office jacket, matching pencil skirt and heels with tights. Observing myself in the mirror while putting on light makeup, I couldn’t help but perk my lips in distaste; This is definitely gonna be a pain if I have to look like this everyday, it makes me look so mean. I wrapped my tail around my waist, most people mistaken it as a belt like this. I don’t want to ruin my chances of a job all because of my tail, silly to think I know, but it’s happened before.</p><p>I turned on the small television in the living room for the news while I made breakfast for the weather through the day. While making my coffee, my ears tuned in as the channel suddenly changed, “We interrupt this broadcast to bring urgent news, today marks the 15th anniversary of what we all thought would be the end of the world- the Cell Games.” The woman spoke. I hummed, ‘<i>Wow...has it really been that long...<i>’. I was young when the games were announced, I think I was 6 years old? The fear was unreal... “-In celebration of our amazing hero Mr. Satan’s victory, the town is throwing a big parade later today in his honor!” The woman cheered. Ugh, that’s right. That Mr. Satan guy was the one who apparently defeated Cell. I say it’s bull. There’s no way he took down Cell on his own. Wait-today? Crap! That means I can get stuck in traffic! I better get going. </i></i></p><p>The place I was applying to as an assistant was Capsule Corp. I know it might be a long shot but it pays the exact kind of cash I need to really get started on my dream job. One long drive later, I made my destination at the massive corporation building.The front desk woman was kind enough to direct me to the elevator and told me which floor Mrs. Briefs was on. I felt my stomach churn inside the elevator, I didn’t think I would actually talk to the famous inventor herself, I thought I was interviewing with one of her employees... I got to the floor and walked out into a giant lab, a huge machinery of some sort occupying the middle like it was on display. “Uh... Mrs. Briefs are you in here?” I called out, the reverberation bouncing off the walls. It appears she isn’t here.. I shrug and turn to leave, maybe it’s the wrong floor after all. “Hold on! I’m up here!” A feminine voice called. Instinctively I look up the top of the machinery to find blue hair peaking out. The woman climbed out and slid down the latter smoothly. “My bad, I kinda forgot our interview today, I hope you don’t mind.” She chuckled, pulling off protective gloves from her hands. This is Mrs. Briefs? I cleared out my through and held out my hand, “It’s fine I assure you, I’m (Y/n), it’s an honor to meet you Mrs. Briefs.” I smiled coyly. Mrs. Briefs laughed, “What’s with the formality? Mrs. Briefs makes me sound so old! You can just call me Bulma, hun.” She giggled shaking my hand. My face flustered from embarrassment, “Oh, sorry Mrs- I mean Bulma.” I apologized. Well this is already going great. Bulma chuckled, “Relax. I know it’s an interview for a job, but I promise I’m not one of those bosses who’ll smite you if you don’t do exactly as I want.” She said. My shoulders dropped slightly, she was a lot more laid-back than I had expected her to be. “Now, you’re here applying as my assistant right? And you read the requirements?” She asked, I nodded “Yes ma’am I-“ Bulma quickly cut me off, “Perfect! You’re hired”. I blinked taking a moment to process what she said. “W-W-Wait aren’t you going to ask me questions?” I stuttered, “Nah, just tend to my husband when I’m too busy.” She smiled, “Feed him when he’s hungry and if it’s something to do with the chamber, contact me.” She said leading me to the elevator, “You start tomorrow. See ya!~” She sang, waving me away. The doors shut and I stood there flabbergasted. That was... something. But I got the job! That’s good! And all I have to do is feed her husband? How hard could that possibly be.</p><p>Unfortunately for me, I was cut up in traffic of the parade. I groaned watching Satan fanatics run past the front of my car wearing bizarre outfits and jewelry. One of them even placed his hands on the hood of my car screaming, I jumped practically smashing the horn to get him to leave. It took a good few hours before I was able to get out of the city, but I wasn’t going to let it damper my good mood. I sighed turning up the radio to help sooth my irritation and bring the mood back to where it was before. “-Ironically during the 15th anniversary of the Cell Games, police reports are coming in reporting the spotting of.. the infamous Cell.” Despite the amused tone the reporter had, I frowned turning it up more. “The sheriff of the police department say there’s nothing to be alarmed and some scandalous teens trying to get a rise out of the public. He also says to just lock your doors not to persuade any of their actions, and if anything happens, contact the authorities so they'll be handled properly.” I immediately shut the radio off. That didn’t help at all. I rolled my fingers over the steering wheel, I’m overthinking it, there’s no way Cell could ever come back, it was just some silly prank. Yeah... just a prank. The sky grew dark as I drew close to home, meeting the woodsy part of the area. a few minutes in I began to relax, my knuckles easing it’s grip around the wheel. I let out a small laugh, look at me, being all nervous over Cell, just like a little kid. Oh that’s funny-<b>SHIT<b>!!!</b></b></p><p> I slammed on breaks as hard as I could, arching the car forward at the abrupt stop. The car creaked.... I think I hit it. Oh nooooo. I popped the door open and stepped out, praying it wasn’t too bad. Maybe it’s ok. “Hello?... oh please don’t be dead..” I pleaded. I rounded the corner and squinted my eyes, I really couldn’t see the figure well, but I could tell it was big, kami please don’t be a bear or a dinosaur. Fumbling for my phone I turned on the flashlight and pointed it to the figure, instantly dropping my phone squealing and stumbling onto the ground. I-It’s Cell! B-But how I- no. It’s a lie! It’s just a teenager! Yeah! T-They really put a lot of good work into it, t-that’s for sure. I-It’s so realistic... I grabbed my phone and shakily stood, trembling as I carefully made my way over.</p><p>”U-Uh, mister? Are you ok?” I asked, kneeling down next to him, I squeaked as he groaned. Wow, they even sound like him! I watched his face grimace in pain. I gasped and nearly fainted as hand grabbed my ankle. “Help-..me-..!” He choked out. I felt my blood run cold as one of his eyes peaked open, it’s not fake, it’s actually him! I can never forget those eyes, those eyes that haunted my nightmares, you can’t fake that! Tears whelmed in my eyes, oh kami why me, why is he here?! How?! I felt his grip tighten, “Help me-! Damn-... earth woman!” He rasped. His grip on my ankle slacked, his face smoothing out. He’s.. he’s out cold! W-What do I do? I sat on the ground racking through my brain. Cell’s back somehow, and he wants me to help him?! I scanned over his body, he did look pretty beaten up. Whatever happened, I wouldn’t want to stay and find out the person responsible. But what do I do with HIM? I shook his hand away off my ankle, if anything, I should run him over! Serves him right after what he did! Oh who am I kidding, that wouldn’t do anything. Tanks couldn’t do anything to him back then what could some flimsy car do to him now, even if he is battered at the moment. Maybe I should just leave him. Would I even be able to drag him out of the way? Wait no, if he wakes up he could get pissed and hunt me down to kill me! Then again... if I listen to him, I’ll have to bring him home, and he might try to kill me while I’m sleeping! Either way I’m screwed! The other option is out of the picture, the only chance I have is if he decides to spare me for helping him rather than dispose of me. Then it’s decided! Now... how am I going to fit him into my car?...</p><p> I grunted as I pulled on the giant bug man’s wrist. Holy CRAP he was heavy! I huffed as my heels dug in the ground trying to pull him inside my car. I let out a loud exasperated sigh as I managed to get him close enough to the back seats. I popped the door open and huffed bending down, hooking my arms under his, “Ok... 1...2..3!” I grunted trying to pick him up. I barely got him a few inches off the ground. I dropped him and grabbed the side of the car, my vision going black for a second, “How much do you weigh?” I groaned. It took everything I could to literally drag him inside. I’m getting quite the workout from this. I panted I as slid to the ground successfully getting him fully inside. I’m going to be sooooo sore tomorrow I can already feel it in my thighs. I got up to close the door and realized... I can’t close the door... his legs were sticking out too much. I whimpered, man what’s with today? I grabbed onto the shiny leg and tried bending it inside so he’d fit, the moment I let go, his leg popped right out kicking me to the ground. Is he awake?!!! I got up wincing to make sure but he’s still unconscious. That kick hurts like crazy, can’t imagine if he actually tried, I’d have broken ribs! I got up, holding my stomach as I pulled myself inside the drivers seat. No way I’m trying that again.</p><p>I had to drive really slow to avoid anything happening in the back, and incase I had to make a break for it if he unexpectedly woke up. I stopped at the front of my house. Great, now I have to drag him inside. It’s going to be past midnight before I go to bed at this rate! Unless I wanna sleep permanently... I turned off the car and dragged him by his legs. Each leg on each side, just like a farming mule pulling equipment. It wasn’t much more help than before, but it was a definite difference that I was more than willing to take. I managed to get him into my living room. I let out a fulfilled sigh, finally being able to stand straight. “Alright buddy, lets get you cleaned up.” I sighed. He may scare the bajeebeez out of me, but I’m not going to let him stay all dirty, my carpet was already massacred from all the dirt dragged in. That’s going to be fun to clean up. I soaked a rag in the kitchen to clean his... exoskeleton off. Jeez this is all so weird. Am I really about to clean off the world’s biggest terrorist in all of history? Oh screw it all for now, just play pretend. Act like he’s some actor or something. Could be like I’m in an awesome action movie. Entering back into the living room I jumped seeing Cell sitting up fully conscious. It seemed he hadn’t noticed I’m here yet...</p><p>”How are they so much stronger than me? I understand I was dead for a few years but to escalate this much? Impossible! This is most upsetting.” He hissed, clenching his fist in front of him. So he did get beaten by someone. He’s looking at me.. “U-Um, a-are you-“, “Where am I, earth woman.” He demanded. I swallowed up my fear in order to speak, “Y-You’re in my h-house..” I managed to answer, ‘<i>Please don’t kill me please don’t kill me<i>’. Cell’s eyes narrowed as he stood, “And where exactly <i>is<i> your house”. My knees nearly buckled as he approached, “I-In the woods... About an hour away from West City.” I answered. The squeaking of steps stopped as he hovered over my form, h-he’s so tall! At least 7 feet! “An hour you say...” He hummed and crossed his arms. I watched as he observed the house, his gaze landing on me. “I suppose you’re the one who dragged me here, yes?” He said, “Um...”, “Did you or did you not” He glared. Moment of truth I suppose, I hesitantly nodded my head. Cell frowned, oh kami he’s not gonna spare me! “Alright tiny human.” He said, his hand grabbing my skull. I yelled as he threatened to crush my skull, it hurt so much! This is it! “Listen well, since you were sensible enough to bring me here, I think you have enough sense not to say a word about this, and in exchange of keeping you alive I will stay here until I am strong enough to leave, do you understand.” He said. I looked up at him shocked through teary eyes, he can’t be serious. Stay here?! That’s a punishment worse than death! He’s lying! I cringed as the pain heightened, “I said do you understand?! Don’t make me repeat myself, this your last chance!” He barked. I flinched at his tone, “Ok Ok!” I answered. The pain ceased and I was dropped to the ground, “Good. Glad to come to an agreement.” He grinned. </i></i></i></i></p><p>“Since that’s out of the way... who the <b>hell</b> are you.”</p>
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<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Ground Rules</h2></a>
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  <i>“Since that’s out of the way... who the <b>hell</b> are you.”</i></p><p> I bit my tongue as I stared up Cell, “I-It’s (Y/n)...” I answered. “(Y/n)...” He hummed, testing my name out almost like he was trying to see if he liked it or not. The small humph he made elicited me to flinch, “Well (Y/n), as long as you stay out of my way I believe we can coexist without any problems.” He smirked. I bit the inside of my cheek as he went past me and started observing the house. Is he seriously going to be staying here? No, this is just a really bad dream, my alarm clock is about to go off any second now and I’ll wake up from this nightmare and get ready for the interview... any second now.... shit.</p><p> I gasped as the sound of crunching drew me back to reality. I looked to Cell observing the remains of the stained glass rose a friend got me when we had both graduated from college. Cell scoffed in disgust and dropped the pieces to the floor, “H-Hey! What are you doing?!” I frowned. Cell waved me off, “Hush tiny human, I’m doing you a favor, it clashes with the theme of your home... if I can even call it that.” He grumbled. First he basically moves himself in, and now he’s criticizing my home decor? Rude! “My friend gave me that, jerk!“ I barked, “Aww and what are you going to do about it?” He challenged, “Are going to try and stop me?”. My heart stopped thinking of what action he’d take if I did oppose him, he would easily overpower me and kill me. I sighed as the fight in me quickly died. Cell smirked, “That’s what I thought”.</p><p> I grumbled as I went to go clean up what was left of my precious gift. I knew he was evil but does he have to be such an a-hole too? The nerve of this guy... should’ve just left him in the woods. I decided not to throw the pieces away, instead I put them into a bag. Maybe when I find the time I can glue them back together or something. I tensed as the feeling of eyes burning into the back of my skull stopped me, “You’re going to keep that piece of junk?”. I shakily sighed putting the bag into the convenience drawer and shutting it. Deep breaths (Y/n). “Listen, Cell, if you want to coexist like you said, I think it’s only fair we set some rules?” I said, turning to face him. I had to crane my neck up in order to see his face; did he have to be so close? I didn’t miss the displeased frown, however. I gasped as the wind was physically squeezed out of me. Or at least tried to gasp. I instinctively grabbed his wrist as I was lifted up, “Perhaps I underestimated your intelligence... <b>no one</b> can control <b>me</b>.” He growled, “Then I’ll just dispose of you, not like I needed you in the first place”.</p><p>
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</p><p>My eyes went wide, kicking around in hopes to escape, “N-No you can’t!” I choked. He laughed heartedly, “Oh? I’m pretty sure I can? What makes you think I can’t?” He grinned wickedly, tightening his grip. I strained a whimper as my vision began to blur into black “Because-...because-“ I sputtered. Any longer and I’ll pass out and or he’ll crush my windpipe. I took the biggest breath I could, “Because if you kill me, they’ll look for me!” I gasped. I could tell he loosened his grip.</p><p>“Who will?” He scoffed “It’s not like they can beat me either-“</p><p> “Mrs. Briefs!” I said quickly “Of Capsule Corp.! She’s expecting me tomorrow!” I said, “Unless you want to face her-“</p><p>I squeaked as I landed on the tile floor, gasping desperately for air. Cell muttered a curse under his breath, “It had to be them... Fine. You get to live”. I released a heavy sigh of relief. I winced as fingers weaved through my (h/c) locks and gripped them tightly in a fist. “The only reason I spare you is because you’ve proven to be some use to me by providing some data on an enemy of mine.” He growled. I looked at him directly through pain filled tears, “M-Mrs. Briefs i-is your enemy?” I asked. Cell huffed in my face and he fully released me, “You can say that”. I swept my hand through my hair, I swear I feel blood.</p><p> “Now, you said she expecting you tomorrow?” He sighed. I shakily got onto my two legs, the counter supporting my weight to keep from collapsing, “Yes... that’s correct.. I’m suppose to be her assistant” I explained. I don’t know why he’d even care about Mrs. Briefs. I mean, she wasn’t involved in the Cell Games? At least, not from what I’ve heard. I could see the cogs turn in Cell’s rotten mind, an unsettling wicked grin forming, “Yes yes this plays out perfectly.” He muttered. He’s clearly planning something. Kami, I was just hired and I’m already about to betray her and put everything on the line... “W-What are you going to do..?” I asked hesitantly, not wishing to get hurt again. I flinched as a finger pressed into my chest, “You, human, are going to gain as much information on their plans as discretely as possible, and keep an eye out for that troublesome husband of hers”. Her husband? What’s so special about him?</p><p>Ok ok, be smart about this, (Y/n), maybe I can strike a deal. “Alright but if I help you... you have to follow some rules in exchange.” I said carefully. His eyes narrowed, “My exchange is letting you live-“, “H-Hear me out! Before you owed me for helping you, so you let me live r-right? Well now you want a place you can stay a-and for me to gather intel until you’re allowed to leave, S-so! How about we make a deal?” I said. Cell at least seemed to consider, “Fine.. what are your terms”. Score! I took a hard swallow, “F-First! Y-you can’t kill anyone!” I said quickly, and maybe a little louder than I meant. I watch him roll his eyes, but I wasn’t hearing any rejections, so that’s good. “And y-you can’t break anything... or hurt me!” I said, “I suppose I can.. agree despite how much I despise the idea. Anything else.” He said, “...One more thing. You can only leave at night where nobody can see you.” I added, I can’t really keep him in here, I know that, but I also don’t want to be in the same house sleeping where I’m most vulnerable. Might as well make it to where we’re both are comfortable.</p><p>Cell rolled his head back as he groaned “Alright! I agree, are we done here?” He said. It would be funny how annoyed he is if it wasn’t for his bone crushing strength. I gave him a nod and he eagerly left me to my own devices. Ok, I can rest a little easy now. Speaking of which, I should REALLY head to bed. Being late is definitely not an option, no matter what the situation is. I looked back at Cell while standing at the beginning of the hallway that leads to my room, “Cell, I’m going to bed now, ok?” I said, he just waved me off and I left to do just as I said. I closed the door and locked it. Locking the door really is pointless, but it gives some sense of security. Time for- oh Kami. I can’t sleep in work clothes! The thought of Cell just- no no, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t... right? I don’t take Cell to being a Peeping Tom while some girl is changing, he’s not <i>that<i> kind of a creep. Whatever, if he attempts to, I’ll at least know before he gets the chance. I got into some pj’s and crawled in bed, doing my best to clear my mind from the present danger in my house. The guilt and fear, however, kept nagging at my stomach, why am I so stupid? I’ve got to be the worst human being ever to house the world’s biggest threat ever in the history of mankind. Not like I had a choice, really. Whatever, what’s done is done. All I can do now is rest and do my part in order to survive. Slowly, I let myself ease into sleep.</i></i></p><p>
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</p><p>______________________________________</p><p>I slept terribly. The whole night I was just plagued with nightmares of horrible ways that beast could kill me. I groggily got up and took a quick shower. I maybe got sloppy with getting dressed and makeup, but the sooner I get out of this house the better. Now for the hardest part... breakfast. With much hesitation, I cracked open my door to peek outside. No one, good so far. I let out a sigh realizing how childish I was acting. I feel like I’m 3 years old again, scared of monsters that might be around the corner. Only difference is that there actually <b>is</b> a monster around the corner. I stepped out and went to the kitchen as casually as possible. I figured I’d find Cell on the couch sleeping or something, but what I found was nothing my mind could ever conjure up. Cell had scavenged everything... the fridge was open for who knows how long, the cabinets were opened and completely emptied, contents were spilt onto the floor and countertops. What the hell?! So he just took my food and ditched? Ass! I don’t have time to make breakfast now!</p><p>I tried to clean up as best as I could but I’m just gonna have to wait till I come back. My house is gonna smell so bad. Oh well, no time to bitch and cry about it. I got into my car and drove to Capsule Corp. Sadly traffic was not in my favor, so I ran a few red lights, I don’t condone abusing traffic laws, but I’ll be damned if I’m late. I got to Capsule Corp. a minute early so I’ll say it was worth it in the end! I got inside and the front lady (her name’s Cider) told me which floor I’m needed. “Wait!” Cider called as I almost entered the elevator. I watched as the blonde got up out of her seat and ran towards me with something in her hand, “I nearly forgot to give you this!” She said. It was an ear piece? I guess she noticed my confusion and smiled “It’s for when either of the Briefs need you, they can just buzz you and tell you what they need assistance with, it can also be used the other way around.” She explained then took a hold of my shoulder, “Just between you and I, I’d keep the volume low, Mr. Briefs is a yeller. One of the assistants before you had their volume up and almost went deaf! Ear was bleeding and everything.” She advised. Wait, one of the assistants before me? How many has Bulma had? “Oh, uh, thank you.” I said, putting it on, “It’s no problem! Good luck, you’re gonna need it.” She said waving and going to her seat.</p><p>That’s disconcerting. Mrs. Briefs’ husband canNOT be that bad. But if what she said was true... No, I’m not gonna give in. I need this job more than I ever did before. Whatever I have to face, I’m ready for it! So they better give me the best they- “Woman!” I jumped at the loud voice in my ear, “I demand you bring me water immediately! Hurry up!” The grouchy voice demanded. Wow. That actually nearly took the soul out of me. Impatient much? Man right when I was starting to pump myself up, probably best not to leave him waiting though. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a water from their MASSIVE fridge. It’s like the kitchen to a palace. Even the water bottle was huge. I sighed. Then I stopped. Wait, which room is he in?... I tapped the device, Cider said it can be used either way right? “Who would you like to contact?” A robotic voice asked, “Um... Mr. Briefs?” I muttered, “Contacting Vegeta Briefs.” It said...“Vegeta... strange Name ..” I said to myself, “What was that, woman?!” A voice snapped, shit that was fast! Shit shit shit! “N-Nothing Mr. Briefs!! U-Um I-I’ve got your water bottle.. w-what room are you in?” I asked. “The gravity chamber, of course, where else?! Just put it outside the door and I just might forgive you for your insolence!” He barked, the click signifying he ended the connection. Damn I need to be more careful, I knew Bulma made some high tech but I didn’t realize how capable it was. I didn’t take Bulma to tolerate such a grouchy man either, so it’s my fault to make assumptions.</p><p>It took awhile before I managed to find the gravity chamber, wonder what he’s doing in there? Maybe he’s one of those cliche scientists spending all his time in a lab and gets grouchy when pulled away from his work. It would make sense to why Bulma would marry him. Who knows. As I placed down the water, I remembered the side mission Cell had given me; but how can I do that discretely? Talking about Cell in general wouldn’t be discrete. Well... maybe I can work somewhere with it... but that will strictly have to be Bulma. I doubt her husband is much of a sociable chatter on the latest gossip. Until Mr. Briefs requests for my assistance again, perhaps I can strike a conversation with Bulma about the news. The news, that is, being Cell’s ‘false’ sightings. As I clicked the device and contacted Bulma, I made my way to the elevator. “Hey (Y/n)! What’s up?” Bulma said kindly, frankly I like this greeting much better. I smiled, “Hey Bulma! I just got some free time, I was wondering if we could talk a bit?” I said, but then I realized I don’t really know Bulma that well, she just hired me so asking to have a random conversation is a bit far. Shit! I’m such an idiot! “T-That is if you’re ok with it. I know it’s probably weird that I’m asking my boss to hang out.” I said, hoping it’ll spare me from any suspicion. “Oh no! It’s totally fine! I’ve been needing to get a break anyway. Come on up!” She said and the device disconnected. Huh. That went better than I thought it would. I nearly screwed up, if I’m not careful, me and Cell will be screwed.</p><p>I got to the more homey part of the corporation, the living room; the blue haired woman sitting on the couch patiently. “There you are! Come sit, I already got some tea out.” Bulma smiled. I smiled back, but the growing guilt in my stomach was settling in, can I really backstab someone that’s been nothing but kind to me? Bulma frowned, “Is everything ok?” She asked, “Yeah just-...” Why does my face always have to show how I really feel!! Think think! “Let me guess. It’s my husband.” She smirked, I perked up and sat down, “Well yeah sort of..” I muttered. Bulma simply laughed, “Sorry about him, he’s not really a people person.” She said, “Yeah I noticed, I didn’t even get the chance to see him. What exactly does he do anyway?” I asked, picking up a cup and pouring some tea. Bulma smiled, “Oh he’s uh... he’s a body builder.” She said, I nearly dropped the tea pot in shock. I looked back at her and she laughed, “Is that really so shocking?” She asked, I shook my head “No I just thought for some reason he was a scientist like you!” I explained. Bulma waved her hand, “I wish, then I wouldn’t have to spend so much time explaining stuff to him.” She chuckled. I chuckled slightly, “I guess that would get tiresome huh?”. So a scientist and body builder, they’re even more opposite than I thought. I sighed taking a sip, “So... how do you feel about the news we’ve had recently?” I asked, that’s a normal question to ask right? Bulma hummed confused at first then it visibly clicked in her genius mind, “Oh, you mean the Cell Games anniversary. My family didn’t celebrate it. It’s all in the past!” She said. I sighed, “Well yeah, but what about the sightings? Spooky stuff..” I said. Did I just seriously say spooky stuff? Oh my KAMI- “Aww, is poor (Y/n) scared?” She cooed nudging me gently, I felt my face fluster, “What no!” I defended. Man if only she knew. Bulma giggled, “They’re probably just a bunch of teens! It’s what kids do.” She said, “you know five minute fame and all”. I hummed, “It makes sense, sure. But have they actually caught them?” I asked, Bulma took a moment to actually consider the question. “Now that you said it, no I don’t think they have. They probably won’t unless they do it again.” She shrugged. I nodded, it was a good point, as much as I hate it, if I’m gonna get more information, I just might need Cell to make some gaps. Much to my disappointment. Kami, I sound like a super villain’s sidekick; I’m really helping Cell against them. The conversation directed to something else and we spoke until Bulma had to go back to work. As well as I. I still didn’t manage to see Mr. Briefs; honestly, I don’t think I’ll get information from him anytime soon. After my shift had ended, I went to my car and traveled to the grocery store. Yeah definitely gonna have a conversation with Cell about THAT.</p><p>______________________________________</p><p>I grumbled as I grabbed a literal house worth of food and put it into my cart, I look like a mom shopping for three kids. He just <i>had to eat everything</i>, didn't he? Asshole. In the middle of my inner rant, my cart crashed. “Hey what’s-!” I stopped seeing who I had rudely bumped into, that was totally my fault. The man was tall with spiky hair, glasses, and professional attire. “Ah, s-sorry, I should’ve been paying attention.” I apologized. The man offered me a kind captivating smile, “No no, it’s fine really! I get it. You look like you’ve had a rough day?” He asked, “Like you wouldn’t believe.” I sighed, it’s that obvious? The man chuckled, “You seem to be carrying a lot for someone so small, got a family?” He asked, “Oh no, it’s just me, I uh... just moved is all, and I’m a bit far out so...” I said, it’s not exactly a lie. He nodded “I see. Since you said you’re new, let me introduce myself! I’m Gohan.” He smiled offering his hand, I smiled shaking it, “(Y/n)”. Gohan smiled, “How about I help you carry all those groceries, I’m sure they’re heavy.” He offered, “Um, if you don’t mind, thanks.” I smiled, “It’s no problem”. We chatted a bit as we made our way through the check out and onto the parking lot. Turns out he’s a college professor with a wife and kid! He’s also a lot stronger than he looks, he carried everything like he was carrying air! The load had to <b>at least</b> be 200 pounds. I sighed as I closed the trunk and back door of my car (not everything would fit in the trunk), “Thanks again Gohan, really, you didn’t have to go out of your way to help me.” I thanked, Gohan chuckled “I told you it’s no problem! My mom raised me to help someone when they need it.” He said. I chuckled “She did a great job then.” I commented, “She sure did!” He laughed softly “She’s not someone I wouldn’t want to disobey anytime soon”. Gohan let out a sigh, “Well I guess this is where we part, hey, how about we have dinner some time? I’m sure my wife would love to meet you.” He offered, “Really?” I smiled, he nodded pulling out a card from his pocket, “Here’s my professor’s card, it’s got my number on it! So if there’s ever a time you need help or we can sit and eat together, I’m just a call away.” He smiled. Gosh his smile is contagious. I nodded as I put the card away, “Sounds like a plan! I’ll catch ya later Gohan.” I waved as I got into my car. We exchanged goodbyes and drove home. </p><p>Upon arrival, I wasn’t graced with the same kindness I had received at the grocery store. Shocking. Was he even here? Who knows he might’ve decided he didn’t want to restricted by rules and left. If that was the case, I don’t know whether I should be relieved he’s gone or terrified he couldn’t go a single day without killing someone. I grunted opening the door as best I could and use my foot to open it and dragging my groceries in, “Bout time you showed up”. Oh great. He’s still here. I rolled my eyes and set everything down, the kitchen was still a mess! And it smelled terrible! I puffed to get some hair out of my face, “Cell, how long have you been here?” I panted slightly, “I’d say about three hours.” He answered. Seriously?! “Then why didn’t you clean up your mess?!” I said, “Wasn’t part of the deal.” He shrugged. I groaned frustrated, he’s really going to be that guy. I sighed as I sat up, “We need to talk.” I said, “Oh yes we do, tell me everything that happened at Capsule Corp. today.” He smirked, a sickening imitation of a lover asking their significant other about their day. I frowned “I’ll tell you. <b>After</b> we go over some things.” I said going back to the car. </p><p>
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</p><p>”You know you could help me!”</p><p>”Not part of the agreement!” </p><p> I could feel veins pulsing in irritation. He’s such a jerk! I took a deep breath before hastily grabbing the rest of the groceries and going inside. I shut the door and placed the bags down, “I thought we had a deal.” I glared, holding my hips. Cell was examining his nails like he had no care in the world, “We did.” He said lightly. I frowned “Then are you just purposely not following it?? Where were you this morning?! I thought I told you you can’t be out during day hours!” I said, flailing my arm out. “Well it’s hard to tell what time it is up in space.” He answered. My eyes squinted, did he say space? “You’re lying. You can’t breathe in space! Even if you could, you’d had to have at least gotten tired at some point last night!” I reasoned out. “I assure you I’m not lying!” He chuckled, clearly finding the whole situation amusing, “I don’t require sleep, I have unlimited stamina. And I’m not limited to strictly breathing oxygen unlike you. Plus space is the only place those filthy Z Fighters can’t reach me! I have to train somewhere.” He explained. “That’s impossible!” I said, I mean- unlimited stamina? “Not for a bio android it’s not.” He said, “a what?” My eyes widened, that’s what he is? A bio android? Like in the sci-fi movies? Well it would certainly explain a lot, I guess... “O-Ok fine, I’ll give you a pass on that, just be careful. But what about my food?! Why did you eat all of it and didn’t bother to clean it up?!” I said, “Simple, I’m sure you’re already aware of my raids through a few cities back when I was imperfect. Similar to you, it gives me energy and strength, since you’ve restricted me from killing any of your pathetic kind, I had to make best with what can give me energy. It’s certainly not as sufficient as <i>live</i> prey, but it’ll do.” He explained, “Which I see you’ve brought more of, how kind.” He grinned. I took a wide stance in front of the groceries, “Absolutely not mister!” I barked, Cell frowned glaring, I had to try really hard not to break my defense. “I’m not made of money, Cell. And if what you said is true, you don’t need to eat either, correct?” I raised a brow. Cell sighed, “Yes, that’s indeed correct.” He said, “I want to get stronger and fast. If you keep holding me back-“ his voice beginning to drop. The rising tension was enough for me to appease him fast. “Wait! We can work this out. You can still eat, but I also need to eat. And you said live prey was more sufficient for your goal right? So what about.. and bear with me... you hunt.. animals.” I said. Cell put a hand to his chin “I suppose that may work..” he hummed, “b-but you can’t go around and eating all of them at one time! So... keep it minimum.” I said. Cell sighed, “Fine, that works.” He said, “Now tell me what happened”.</p><p> I went over the events that had transpired, I left out certain details like how I met Gohan since he’s not really relevant. Cell digested the information as I thought about our next move, “I don’t know how to get information out discretely without bringing up the news. But the broadcasters all think they’re just kids trying to scare people.” I said “What should I do?”. Cell looked down at me, “This does prove to be a problem. Bringing me up out of no where after the events on the news transpired would be suspicious to anyone. So the only solution we have is the news, and you said they believe my sightings was a prank pulled by teenagers, right?” He said, I nodded. Cell thought some more and nodded “I’ll handle the news part, but, I need you to have the news on at Capsule Corp.” He ordered. I frowned, “But how do I explain that to my boss when I’m suppose to be working?” I asked, “You said you really only serve to tend to Vegeta yes?”, I nodded again. “I don’t imagine Vegeta to be the kind to constantly request to be tended to, he’s too stubborn for that. Therefore, you get plenty of free time. Say you’re waiting on some show or something, I can care less. Just keep the news on.” He said, “What if they make me turn it off?” I asked. Cell went silent thinking, “Keep it on till twelve the latest, if they try to before then, distract them somehow, turn it on when they leave if you have to.” He said. I nodded, “But what if-“ I was cut off as a hand grabbed my face, my vision going dark, “Now you're just worrying too much”. I can tell by his tone he was getting annoyed, but geez his hands are so big... I huffed and he let go. “Ok, I’ll keep the news on until 12 P.M. tomorrow.” I sighed, “Good”.</p><p>”....Now will you clean up your mess?”</p><p>”No.”</p><p>”Damn.”</p>
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